foodie_student_life

 

My experience of an eating disorder Tuesday 30th June 2020. For many it was just another lockdown day, in a year to be forgotten but this is one I will always remember. Being escorted to hospital in disbelief, in denial that things could ever have gotten so bad. Still believing in my mind that I was okay and didn’t need this kind of help, that I could do it by myself – despite no longer being able to walk unaided up the stairs, struggling to lift myself off a chair and having to ask my family for help getting dressed. It was a turning point for me, the moment I was hit with the reality and the severity of my eating disorder, the long-lasting damage that I might have done. And, with all control taken away, I was confronted with the power that it had on me.  I’d known for a while that I was struggling, my friends at uni months before had told me they were worried. We’d agreed that it was anorexia – that I was showing those traits, that I needed to do something about it. And I tried. ...

 Unhelpful Thinking  I am a true believer in learning and expanding your knowledge. From this you can begin to solve problems, understand yourself and the world around you. Learning the details of my disorder, the harm that it was doing to me and those around me helped in overcoming my eating disorder and restoring balance within my thoughts and lifestyle in general. But one of the greatest things I learnt while in hospital last year was how unhelpful thinking styles I'd developed, and begun to rely on, were negatively impacting my emotions leading to the depression and anxiety that had become such a part of who I was. Snowballing, these lead to unhealthy behaviours, food rules and compulsive exercise regimes within the eating disorder that drove me to destruction.   Learning about these I was able to identify and recognise them within myself - the first step in conquering them and adopting a more positive and healthier mindset.  I acknowledge that some of these...

Hitting that Brick Wall Recovery was never going to be easy – I knew that from the start and have said it many times. But I didn’t imagine it would be quite this tough to keep up the momentum. To give a little context I’m writing this on 16 th January – Christmas went well, and I enjoyed all the chocolates, shortbread and mince pies that you do at this time of year as though nothing had happened. But now the new year has hit and things are getting tricky – for a number of reasons… First off there’s the stereotypical ‘New Year New Me’ posts all over social media. The New Year’s Resolutions - guilt tripping you into unnecessary exercise routines and celebs flaunting their at home workouts to try an motivate others to get into shape. While I understand this may be a life-line to some it’s important to remember: ‘You do not need to earn food!’ - your body needs energy and fuel just to survive and do the day to day – from thinking, breathing and digesting, you’re body needs you to ea...

Overcoming Anorexia This year has been a tough one, it saw my downfall with anorexia nervosa, an illness that had eaten away at me for years but finally came to a head during the first national lockdown. A heart to heart with my mum and I was determined to try and help myself, I was going to try to get better – but something in my mind just wouldn’t let me. Those ‘anorexic voices’ were just to strong and no matter how much I tried to increase a ¼ of a biscuit to a ½ my mind forced me to make up for it in some way. It wasn’t until I was taken to hospital that it really struck me just how serious this had gotten and that I needed to be saved. My passion and devotion for recovery just got stronger and stronger – below are some of the key factors that helped me overcome my eating disorder 1) Never lose sight of why you're doing it - what you want to achieve - where you want to get to - food freedom - a life without worries. It may be smaller steps like 'I want to be able to...

  Recovery is never going to be perfect…   Breaking free of         distorted thinking        …it’s harder than you think. Just when everything seems to be going smoothly, some niggling voice seems always to come back and haunt me. I’ve been doing well in recovery since I’ve been discharged from hospital but last week for the first time in a while I had, what can only be described as a ‘ wobble ’. A brief spell in which the thoughts and feelings that once ruled my life returned with vengeance. The thoughts:     ‘you’re not good enough’         ‘you’re not loveable’    and     ‘you’re not worthy’    were prominent in the height of my disorder, and from speaking to others, reading about anorexia and through therapy sessions seem a common factor in the disorder. So, when you think you’re breaking through and they re...

 My Experience of AN Anorexia affects everyone differently – while there are some common traits or symptoms how people manage/experience them and the struggles associated with the illness is unique For me anorexia developed gradually after innocent weight loss following comments about my appearance and bullying at school. These experiences have made me very wary of people around me so trusting others and building relationships is hard. Not only that but it made me highly self-conscious – a trait many ED patients share (this can be heightened in EDUs as groups form, discussions take place and paranoia becomes intense). While it was gradual in the beginning feelings of worthlessness, being unlovable and a failure triggered its development (this can again be heightened on the ward when people promise things that don’t happen, or patients compare themselves to others and believe they are getting less help or support). As with many who share this disorder, I became competitive i...

So I’ve made a lot of changes... I’ve reduced my exercise target for each day and am trying to build up my strength with larger meals. But I feel like things haven’t really been improving - while I know I need help, I’m struggling to allow myself to let go - the mental battle of guilt is still so overwhelming and while I haven’t been out running the roads I have been jogging on the spot and doing everything I can to get my step count up each day - being seen walking and looking around the kids sections of a clothes store today I felt embarrassed and judged and yet I feel guilty for eating and trying to help myself  😕   An appointment the other day has lead to some developments though - a friend came over to give advice on other matters and was worried about the state I’ve gotten myself into. As a medical professional she had to admit that as a patient she’d refer me to a gp - it’s so hard for me to see others so concerned and to hear things like that but I know inside myse...

‘Chicken’ Pie Never used to like pie at all but this is now a firm favourite and perfect for students as a bulk batch meal for the freezer! The cream and puff pastry aren’t ingredients I’d normally buy as a student so when I did to make up this recipe, I wanted to make sure I’d use it all, making a big batch and splitting it into portions was another great way to reduce any waste - I also used the cream for some brunches and desserts too 😋 - and I’d cut the pastry into pieces before freezing - then simply had to leave out to thaw (don’t put this bit in the microwave - it goes very soggy and unusable) for the day before baking for the perfect topping. Once you’ve made the sauce mix up though it can be used with anything - I often defrosted a batch to have on toast or with pasta too. I can’t claim credit for the recipe entirely- this is adapted from my sisters original which had chicken breasts and bacon but the creamy sauce is just as good with meat substitutes. I use Quorn chicken ...

3 Simple Afternoon Tea Treats Who doesn’t love a good afternoon tea?! While the crazy lockdown world continues - we have just celebrated my Nan’s Birthday!! 🥳 It’s such as shame that were not allowed to go out and celebrate properly - I would have lived to take her out for a proper afternoon tea at one of the little cafes not far from where we live or out to one of our favourite restaurants, but it is what it is! I love making an extra effort, spoiling those I love and making them feel special so as per usual I threw everything at making sure she had a good day! I put together this ‘high afternoon tea’ which we enjoyed in the sunshine on a lovely May afternoon. With tea, bubbles, sandwhiches (egg and onion, cheese and cucumber and salmon with cream cheese) , a large strawberries and cream birthday cake, mini chocolate choux eclairs and of course scones with jam and clotted cream!!! Cream on first, controversial!!! To add to the spread and to give as much variety as possible I ...

I’m fighting a massive personal battle at the moment - it’s only recently that I’ve come to terms with it, and let others know. I had a massive heart to heart with my mum about the whole situation and it broke my heart that she said it made her feel as though she’d failed me as a mother . When it comes to eds there’s nothing anyone else can do - it feels isolating but it’s true. While people can support and offer help, at the end of the day it’s a personal thing and right now it seems like a very steep hill to climb. Don’t get me wrong others can influence it most definitely- for better and for worse. I am so grateful for the support network I have around me and those trying their best to support. I’ve recently made new connections with others who have battled against it online - their tips and guidance have been valuable but that’s for another post. My mum has tried to help where she can, saying congratulations when she sees I’ve tried to overcome or challenge myself. Without my bes...

Profiteroles So although I have plenty of uni assignments and revision still to do which is taking up the majority of my time - my preventing the usual shopping trips, coffee dates and ladies that lunch escapes - lock-down is giving me plenty of time. Last week, in need of a new challenge, I started looking up recipes for profiteroles! Something I never really used to like eating to be honest but had a sudden craving for - so strange how these things come and go. I've never attempted choux pastry before, in fact the only time I've seen it made is on Bake off! But they often make it look so easy - probably cause they're much better bakers than me, but you don't know till you try right?!! Thinking it could be an absolute disaster - and not wanting to use up all the rationed eggs! - I adapted a recipe I found on the ever faithful BBC Good Food App - I found that with these reduced quantities I made about 12 well sized profiteroles - decide for yourself how many that...

So this is all a bit strange ... on our 4th week of lockdown! To be honest, I actually really enjoyed it to start with, getting time to spend with my family that I wouldn’t have had normally, but I think it’s fair to say we’re all getting a bit fed up with it now!! Not helped by the weather changing from nice sunshine last week to rain or the fact that I’m getting ever closer to exams but the mood has definitely changed. In the first couple of weeks, to make up for some special events we were due to go to but were obviously cancelled, we had a couple evenings all round the table - I cooked a big three course meal, we all dressed up and actually had a good time! Last week, it was dad’s birthday, something to look forward to and celebrate, we tried to make it special for him with our first bbq of the season!! Always a favourite, I made all the trimmings and we had an amazing evening out in the garden! Right now, we don’t have anything to look forward to, but I’m hoping we will do somet...

Simple Coffee-Time Biccies Home lock-down has got my family going slightly stir crazy! I'm loving the extra baking and cooking time, locking myself in the kitchen whenever I can and have found some great recipes online and in the newspaper (BBC Good Food is always a favourite; there's some great pages to follow on insta too for inspiration and recipes and the telegraph food and drink section is getting bigger every day!!) While insanity is starting to hit - we're trying to keep a routine/pattern and coffee time is now a major feature! It's the really needed morning pick-me-up a chance to break from revision, gather for a chat and of course eat biscuits!! Knowing how much my family love biscuits, we go through quite a few so I found this simple recipe online and have been loving making them on a regular basis. As you can see, the measures are a bit odd - I halved the recipe and found it made plenty of perfectly sized coffee time biccies! The Recipe below is f...

Well I've been wanting to make an upside down cake for a while and 'lock-down' has given me the perfect excuse to spend more time in the kitchen! I spotted some rather ripe bananas in the fruit bowl and made the mistake of asking my family what they thought I should make, the answers came back unanimously for a crumble 😒 - banana crumble is a family favourite, I'll share the secret recipe another time - but having made crumble a few days before I fancied trying something different and found this recipe on the BBC Good Food App (a great source for all recipes - sweet, savoury and everything in-between - it's where I get a lot of inspiration for my cooking) Not having quite all the ingredients - of course I adapted or used similar and it tasted so good!!! While mine was still a little sloppy 😕 I've learnt for next time and would defo recommend a long bake covered with foil. We had this fabulous and show-stoppingly impressive looking cake still warm from ...

That one ingredient in the cupboard that you can rely on to make into a diverse range of different meals and not get bored of  - for many its pasta, and its true the number of dishes you can make, but for me, even more so - it's tortilla wraps! Such a simple thing - not dissimilar to bread, it provides great carbohydrate nutrition and can be so diverse bringing a range of meals, snacks and sweet treats too!!  One Ingredient - Five Meals: 1) Obviously and probably most popular is  fajitas!!!   These can be diverse in themselves: The classic for me is fried pepper strips, red onion and quorn chicken pieces coated in a pre-made supermarket fajita seasoning spice mix (with added smoked paprika for an extra kick) For my sister it would be apple cider vinegar caramelised onion, nandos piri-piri sauce and creamy fried halloumi - whereas when when we were younger, as a Saturday night treat, it would be crisp spring onion, cucumber and hoisin chicken. ...

Such a simple recipe but a great crowd pleaser that’s bound to impress! It was my housemates birthday recently and as tradition goes, I wanted to make home a cake but knowing that his go to sweet treats are biscuits I wanted to incorporate a childhood fave! I used a simple cake batter recipe, filled with jam, decorated with chocolate ganache frosting & cut Jamie dodgers and voila... he was so pleased!! Recipe - cake: 8oz Caster sugar 8oz Soft baking butter (cheaper than normal butter and works just as well!) 8oz Self-raising flour 1tsp baking powder 4 medium eggs 1tsp vanilla essence Filling: 1/2 a jar of strawberry or raspberry jam (be sure to take out any large lumps of fruit) Frosting: Approx.150ml double cream 240g white chocolate (I used lidl own brand -only 30p a bar- doesn’t have to be anything fancy) Method: 1) cream the softened butter with the Caster sugar untill well combined 2) add three of the eggs - one at a time - whisking the mixture as quick a...