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My Experience of AN

My Experience of AN Anorexia affects everyone differently – while there are some common traits or symptoms how people manage/experience them and the struggles associated with the illness is unique For me anorexia developed gradually after innocent weight loss following comments about my appearance and bullying at school. These experiences have made me very wary of people around me so trusting others and building relationships is hard. Not only that but it made me highly self-conscious – a trait many ED patients share (this can be heightened in EDUs as groups form, discussions take place and paranoia becomes intense). While it was gradual in the beginning feelings of worthlessness, being unlovable and a failure triggered its development (this can again be heightened on the ward when people promise things that don’t happen, or patients compare themselves to others and believe they are getting less help or support). As with many who share this disorder, I became competitive i...

Recovery is Never Going to be Perfect

Recovery is never going to be perfect… Breaking free of distorted thinking …it’s harder than you think. Just when everything seems to be going smoothly, some niggling voice seems always to come back and haunt me. I’ve been doing well in recovery since I’ve been discharged from hospital but last week for the first time in a while I had, what can only be described as a ‘ wobble ’. A brief spell in which the thoughts and feelings that once ruled my life returned with vengeance. The thoughts: ‘you’re not good enough’ ‘you’re not loveable’ and ‘you’re not worthy’ were prominent in the height of my disorder, and from speaking to others, reading about anorexia and through therapy sessions seem a common factor in the disorder. So, when you think you’re breaking through and they re...

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