Skip to main content

An uphill struggle

I’m fighting a massive personal battle at the moment - it’s only recently that I’ve come to terms with it, and let others know. I had a massive heart to heart with my mum about the whole situation and it broke my heart that she said it made her feel as though she’d failed me as a mother .
When it comes to eds there’s nothing anyone else can do - it feels isolating but it’s true. While people can support and offer help, at the end of the day it’s a personal thing and right now it seems like a very steep hill to climb.
Don’t get me wrong others can influence it most definitely- for better and for worse. I am so grateful for the support network I have around me and those trying their best to support. I’ve recently made new connections with others who have battled against it online - their tips and guidance have been valuable but that’s for another post. My mum has tried to help where she can, saying congratulations when she sees I’ve tried to overcome or challenge myself. Without my best friend I wouldn’t necessarily have accepted it either so, she’s had a massive part to play and is so encouraging in asking how I am. People can have a great impact - but it can make things worse too. Firstly, for me and I think many others, it’s the words people say that started the fire in the first place - I hold certain memories that I look back now and know have contributed- the little things that people have said at various points and how now I see it triggered me to this. The comments don’t stop, people talking, it just changed context. Somethings now people say or do - they patronise and make it worse. When people are too helpful or enforcing of ‘making you better’ it can lead to a stronger resistance and defence.
My fight is still early on and it’s a long way up from here.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Banoffee Muffins Recipe Card

 

Little Life Update - Lockdown

So this is all a bit strange ... on our 4th week of lockdown! To be honest, I actually really enjoyed it to start with, getting time to spend with my family that I wouldn’t have had normally, but I think it’s fair to say we’re all getting a bit fed up with it now!! Not helped by the weather changing from nice sunshine last week to rain or the fact that I’m getting ever closer to exams but the mood has definitely changed. In the first couple of weeks, to make up for some special events we were due to go to but were obviously cancelled, we had a couple evenings all round the table - I cooked a big three course meal, we all dressed up and actually had a good time! Last week, it was dad’s birthday, something to look forward to and celebrate, we tried to make it special for him with our first bbq of the season!! Always a favourite, I made all the trimmings and we had an amazing evening out in the garden! Right now, we don’t have anything to look forward to, but I’m hoping we will do somet...

Profitaroles

Profiteroles So although I have plenty of uni assignments and revision still to do which is taking up the majority of my time - my preventing the usual shopping trips, coffee dates and ladies that lunch escapes - lock-down is giving me plenty of time. Last week, in need of a new challenge, I started looking up recipes for profiteroles! Something I never really used to like eating to be honest but had a sudden craving for - so strange how these things come and go. I've never attempted choux pastry before, in fact the only time I've seen it made is on Bake off! But they often make it look so easy - probably cause they're much better bakers than me, but you don't know till you try right?!! Thinking it could be an absolute disaster - and not wanting to use up all the rationed eggs! - I adapted a recipe I found on the ever faithful BBC Good Food App - I found that with these reduced quantities I made about 12 well sized profiteroles - decide for yourself how many that...