Recovery
is never going to be perfect…
The thoughts: ‘you’re
not good enough’ ‘you’re not
loveable’ and ‘you’re not worthy’ were prominent in the height of my disorder,
and from speaking to others, reading about anorexia and through therapy
sessions seem a common factor in the disorder. So, when you think you’re
breaking through and they resurface again, it can be hard firstly not to ignore
them, and secondly to overcome them once more. I mean, if they
keep remerging then surely there must be some truth in them right?! At least that’s what my brain thought.
Recovery is never going to be perfect
– I know as many sufferers are
perfectionists, meticulous about tiny details or even OCD, this can be tough –
but accepting that bumps will crop up along the way and will inevitably delay
progress helps in preparing for and dealing with them when they arrive. Just so
long as they don’t stick you into reverse – there is no harm done in fact they
can make you stronger as a result.
For me it was a large slice of cake –
a sense of guilt afterward and a
strong desire to reduce lunch to compensate – especially as my family
who ate similar amounts in the morning were saying they were full and didn’t
want anything. While this may seem only natural, when in recovery, especially
when still on a high calorie weight restoring diet, it is important to keep it
up, to continue with balanced and equal meals and to treat yourself. To accept
that it’s okay to go out and enjoy a slice of cake, that its
not going to harm you and that you, like anyone else are capable and worthy of
enjoying the foods you love.
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