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Overcoming Anorexia

Overcoming Anorexia This year has been a tough one, it saw my downfall with anorexia nervosa, an illness that had eaten away at me for years but finally came to a head during the first national lockdown. A heart to heart with my mum and I was determined to try and help myself, I was going to try to get better – but something in my mind just wouldn’t let me. Those ‘anorexic voices’ were just to strong and no matter how much I tried to increase a ¼ of a biscuit to a ½ my mind forced me to make up for it in some way. It wasn’t until I was taken to hospital that it really struck me just how serious this had gotten and that I needed to be saved. My passion and devotion for recovery just got stronger and stronger – below are some of the key factors that helped me overcome my eating disorder 1) Never lose sight of why you're doing it - what you want to achieve - where you want to get to - food freedom - a life without worries. It may be smaller steps like 'I want to be able to...

Recovery is Never Going to be Perfect

  Recovery is never going to be perfect…   Breaking free of         distorted thinking        …it’s harder than you think. Just when everything seems to be going smoothly, some niggling voice seems always to come back and haunt me. I’ve been doing well in recovery since I’ve been discharged from hospital but last week for the first time in a while I had, what can only be described as a ‘ wobble ’. A brief spell in which the thoughts and feelings that once ruled my life returned with vengeance. The thoughts:     ‘you’re not good enough’         ‘you’re not loveable’    and     ‘you’re not worthy’    were prominent in the height of my disorder, and from speaking to others, reading about anorexia and through therapy sessions seem a common factor in the disorder. So, when you think you’re breaking through and they re...

My Experience of AN

 My Experience of AN Anorexia affects everyone differently – while there are some common traits or symptoms how people manage/experience them and the struggles associated with the illness is unique For me anorexia developed gradually after innocent weight loss following comments about my appearance and bullying at school. These experiences have made me very wary of people around me so trusting others and building relationships is hard. Not only that but it made me highly self-conscious – a trait many ED patients share (this can be heightened in EDUs as groups form, discussions take place and paranoia becomes intense). While it was gradual in the beginning feelings of worthlessness, being unlovable and a failure triggered its development (this can again be heightened on the ward when people promise things that don’t happen, or patients compare themselves to others and believe they are getting less help or support). As with many who share this disorder, I became competitive i...

Crispy Asian Cauliflower - Recipe Card

Little life Update - The Truth is Hard to Bear

So I’ve made a lot of changes... I’ve reduced my exercise target for each day and am trying to build up my strength with larger meals. But I feel like things haven’t really been improving - while I know I need help, I’m struggling to allow myself to let go - the mental battle of guilt is still so overwhelming and while I haven’t been out running the roads I have been jogging on the spot and doing everything I can to get my step count up each day - being seen walking and looking around the kids sections of a clothes store today I felt embarrassed and judged and yet I feel guilty for eating and trying to help myself  😕   An appointment the other day has lead to some developments though - a friend came over to give advice on other matters and was worried about the state I’ve gotten myself into. As a medical professional she had to admit that as a patient she’d refer me to a gp - it’s so hard for me to see others so concerned and to hear things like that but I know inside myse...

'Chicken Pie'

‘Chicken’ Pie Never used to like pie at all but this is now a firm favourite and perfect for students as a bulk batch meal for the freezer! The cream and puff pastry aren’t ingredients I’d normally buy as a student so when I did to make up this recipe, I wanted to make sure I’d use it all, making a big batch and splitting it into portions was another great way to reduce any waste - I also used the cream for some brunches and desserts too 😋 - and I’d cut the pastry into pieces before freezing - then simply had to leave out to thaw (don’t put this bit in the microwave - it goes very soggy and unusable) for the day before baking for the perfect topping. Once you’ve made the sauce mix up though it can be used with anything - I often defrosted a batch to have on toast or with pasta too. I can’t claim credit for the recipe entirely- this is adapted from my sisters original which had chicken breasts and bacon but the creamy sauce is just as good with meat substitutes. I use Quorn chicken ...

3 Simple Afternoon Tea Treats

3 Simple Afternoon Tea Treats Who doesn’t love a good afternoon tea?! While the crazy lockdown world continues - we have just celebrated my Nan’s Birthday!! 🥳 It’s such as shame that were not allowed to go out and celebrate properly - I would have lived to take her out for a proper afternoon tea at one of the little cafes not far from where we live or out to one of our favourite restaurants, but it is what it is! I love making an extra effort, spoiling those I love and making them feel special so as per usual I threw everything at making sure she had a good day! I put together this ‘high afternoon tea’ which we enjoyed in the sunshine on a lovely May afternoon. With tea, bubbles, sandwhiches (egg and onion, cheese and cucumber and salmon with cream cheese) , a large strawberries and cream birthday cake, mini chocolate choux eclairs and of course scones with jam and clotted cream!!! Cream on first, controversial!!! To add to the spread and to give as much variety as possible I ...